When I was in the 5th grade I was forced to realize that it was a “bad” thing to be fat. I started to understand that people talk negatively about you or even to you when you were what they considered to be too big. I had a negative experience with one of my own family members saying I was too chubby. This was a hard thing for me to comprehend as a ten year old. However, I did and I slowly began a long drawn out battle between my weight and food.
My weight has fluctuated up and down for as long as I can remember. One year I would look and feel great and then the next year I’d gain 10 pounds. It wasn’t until my freshman year of college that this battle took a drastic turn for the worse. I was suffering from severe depression (my medicine wasn’t doing me any good) and I was lonely. I wasn’t brave enough to step out of my comfort zone and meet new people so I spent all the time that I wasn’t in class or doing homework that year in the gym or in the pool. My eating habits worsened to where I was eating a maximum of 500 calories a day. I was happy with the results I was getting at the beginning but eventually I realized how bad off I was. I can still remember standing in front of my mirror in my dorm one day crying because my jeans wouldn’t stay on me and were so baggy that I looked like I was wearing guy jeans. I had gone from weighing roughly 135 pounds after high school graduation to barely 100 pounds in a matter of a few months. Some people may believe that I looked “good” at that weight, which I believed I did too at the time, but it’s how I got to that weight and size that was unhealthy. I don’t know what caused me to wake up but something happened one day and I began to gain some weight back.
I started nursing school the following year and let the stress of it all get me to an unhealthy size, but on the opposite end of the spectrum this time. I went from working out obsessively to not exercising at all. I went from eating hardly anything to a bunch of bad food. I’m a vegetarian and have been for about five and a half years now so it’s important for me to eat a well-balanced diet (minus the meat). I was not getting the proper nutrients that my body required and I began to gain weight… and gain and gain and gain. Since I’ve started nursing school I have had spurts of periods where I got motivated again and I tried to get back to a normal weight. These have been fairly short-lived moments because I let the stress of school get to me and kept telling myself I didn’t have time to go to the gym or to cook.
Here I am now in my last semester of nursing school and on a mission. I’m starting this blog close to two months into my journey to become healthy again. So far I can say I’ve been extremely successful and am feeling FABULOUS. I have been meal planning and prepping on Sunday or Monday nights to make it easier during the week to eat good food as well as getting my booty to the gym 4-5 times a week to run and lift weights. My biggest accomplishment thus far has been avoiding the scale. I’m not relying on a number to tell me if I’m at a good size or not. I’m trusting what I see/feel/measure. In the last 2 weeks alone I’ve lost over 7 inches. I hope I can be a source of help to others who are currently on the same journey I am!